New Year. New Profile Layout.

Flightless Bird

I have really awesome friends.
And we throw really great Christmas parties.
I don't think my year would have been complete without any of these people.
I really am lucky to be surrounded by such a good group of people.

Vancouver is so close.
I can't freaking wait.
Bellinis and Sweet Potato Fries are calling to me.
And of course I get to have my family in one place, all at the same time.

Who knew that just a few changes both physically, mentally, and spiritually could affect me in such a positive and healthy way?
Great friends and a wonderful family, all while attending a school that I love to be at.
I certainly didn't think it would be this... satisfying.

I really am blessed.

Take It Easy

This year has been flying by.
I can't believe Christmas Vacation is only a week and a half away.
I felt like just yesterday, I was in Florida, frolicking around Disney World.
And now I will be in Vancouver within the next coming week.

I guess time really does fly by in good company.

Well, I guess there is only one thing to do at a time like this...
Make Gingerbread Houses!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Christmas is coming soon and I can't wait to see my family.
Vancouver can't get here fast enough.
But for now, I'll just have to deal with school.

Cuisines of the Mediterranean is my next class.
I start it at the crack of dawn.
About 5am.
As most of you know, I am far from a morning person.
Oh well.
Our class lunches are going to be so delicious.

Well, wish me luck for tomorrow!

Yo No Hablo Español

It always turns out right.
I really need to stop worrying so much.

Cabo San Lucas was wonderful.
Angela, Benjamin's sister was absolutely beautiful.
Just seeing she and Robert together solidifies my belief that there is someone out there for everyone.
They just have that vibe about them; that forever kind of love.
Ben's family was so warm and inviting to me.
I didn't feel unwelcome in the slightest.
And that means more to me then anything.
No matter what may happen in the future, I will never forget the kindness I have just received from this family.

And of course, I would have never made it to my flight or back to school without my wonderful friends Marcella and Todd.
They are totally a dime a dozen.

Pictures should hopefully be up soon!

Cabo

I'm going to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, tomorrow.
I'm a tad bit nervous and I'm not sure if I'll sleep properly tonight.

I feel like I'm having an out of body experience right now.
Cabo seems like a very strange way to spend my time right now.
Not a bad strange.
Just strange.

I've never done anything like this before.
I feel like I'm doing a very grown up thing.
I feel nervous and already a tad bit overwhelmed.
Like a fish about to be cast out of the water.

Everything will be alright though... right?

Sweet Tooth

Okay.
I think I'm actually awake enough to say something now.

Baking has been awesome.
I really love the nice change of pace.
Chef Levy is a short French guy thats funny but tough and fair to us.
He really knows his stuff, and it is nice to work under chefs that truly know what they are doing and how to teach it to others.

I'm really liking the morning classes.
We get out pretty early.
Though we do have to wake up way early in the morning.
It's worth it.
Though I do sort of miss being in a regular kitchen, where I can truly eyeball everything.
But still, it's nice to change things up.

It's weird though.
I'm around so much bread, cookies, and other delicious treats all day.
(Chef Levy makes us try a lot of stuff because he thinks we are all too skinny)
How are all the people in the baking program not all weighing a million pounds by now?
Its like magic.

So far, so delicious.
More yumminess to come!

In The Midnight Hour

I have no one to calm my nerves.
Despite the motivational pump ups I've been doing for myself, I can't seem to shake the jitters.
I know what you are thinking.
"She is going be just fine".

I'm sure this will be the case.
But the nerves are still present and won't let me fall asleep.

A Sunny Sky.

I don't have too many words tonight.

I'm very tired as always, but that goes without saying.
I'll never escape the fatigue.

Baking starts in three days.
I am so freaking happy to get back in the kitchen.
But now it seems I'm just repeating myself.

Told you I didn't have many words tonight.

A Leaf That's Following The Sun

It's strange how you can have one of the best days, but then see someone having the worst.

Fortunately, I was on the positive end of the spectrum today.
I hung out with Marissa and Todd today.
It was just a really relaxed time.
And I think I certainly deserve it after taking two out of four of my finals today.
I hope they went alright.
One can only hope now.

Next week starts my baking class and I am so completely ready and excited.
I can't not wait to put on my chef whites, officially, and frolic off to class.
Only four more days!

Following The Heartlines On Your Hand.

The L Block finish line is in sight.
I'm so freaking happy I can't even contain myself.

It's not as if L Block was bad.
It wasn't.
And I found some of the things I learned to be useful and informative.
The only fault that I found with it was the monotinous, boring, and tedious projects.
It was like they didn't have enough material to spread out over six weeks so as a result, every class had a special project about something equally as monotinous, boring and tedious.

I'm really excited for my baking class.
Just to do something with my hands and be in a kitchen.
The anticipation is killing me right now.

Almost there.

It Is What It Is.

A cold is catching me.
And it isn't so grand.

I Dreamed A Dream

Don't you just hate it when you wake up from a great dream and then realize that it wasn't real?
It happened to me this morning.
It's like your subconscious is dangling exactly what you wish for, right in front of you.
It even goes to the lengths of making it almost tangible.
And then your alarm clock goes off and ruins it.

And to be honest, I'm still sorta bummed that it was just my imagination.
Oh, well.

Our Halloween Snow

Snowstorms.
Power Outages.
Freezing Temperatures
All before Halloween.
How typical, New Hampshire.


I missed being home with my Daddy.

D-Day

I received my Externship Manual back today.
I have passed with flying colors!
The relief and joy that I have experienced today has been such a great feeling.
And I'm actually really proud of myself and of this project.
I believe it deserves the grade it has received.
And I couldn't be happier.
Today has gone by so great.

Everyday I'm Shuffling.

Sitting in Angell Lounge
Chillin' with Jordan and Todd while we do our Costing Project.
Life has been pretty great.
Now if only all these projects would just do themselves,
Life would then be fantastic.

Wake The Sun

I passed Restaurant Law!

Now I have Mondays off for the rest of my life.

I am quite happy about this!

Peanut M&Ms

"You are like sugar in my iced tea. Simple. Sweet. And there's something missing without you"
And I got a 56 ounce bag of peanut M&Ms, just because.
I certainly know how to pick 'em.

Alright, all together now...
1,
2,
3...
Awwww.
<3

Letters.

I received a letter today from my Grandmother.
I was already having a good day, but then my day just got even better!
I'm so lucky to have caring people like this in my life.
That send me stuff, just because they can.
It makes me feel special and very loved.
I can't ask for anything more then that.
Thank you so much for the letter!

Change Of Time

Classes are going well so far.
Everything has gone pretty smooth and I really can't ask for any more.

I kept hearing that L block was going to be so hard and that I would get bombarded with projects.
I currently have three.
But I'm really not stressing out.
I know that I'm going to get the work done, so it's really not a problem.
I suppose it helps that I haven't procrastinated at all with these projects.
One is almost complete and due Friday.
One is going to be worked on/completed, also on Friday.
And it isn't due until next week or something.
And the last isn't due until the 27th, so my group still has time.

School has been so different from last year.
I believe that it's just going to continue down that path.
I'm really happy here for once.
Not that I wasn't happy before.
I was, I promise.
It was just that I was only truly happy when I was in class.
But other then that, I wasn't all that happy.

On a completely different note,
I was thinking about becoming a Campus Representative for the Disney College Program.
If excepted, I can then tell people who are leaving on Externship how awesome Disney was for me and why they should consider it.
And on top of that, by becoming a Rep, I would still be connected to Disney and all the opportunities that can go along with that.
Future Career Opportunities, anyone?
Decisions, decisions.

The Missing

This blog is coming to you in the wee hours of the morning.
About 2:32am to be exact.
I can't sleep.

I'm missing Florida and all the people still down there.
I miss how it would rain and be sunny at the same time.
I miss going to Downtown Disney to see movies.
I miss going to beer Thursdays (the best holiday(s) of the year).
I miss watching sheet trays getting picked up.
I miss corny and awkward jokes.
I miss my Nicaraguan Chant song.
I miss the elevator.
I miss making memories.
I miss rainy Sunday afternoons.
I miss going to the Parks.
I miss the people.
I miss you.
I hope you miss me too.

Comfortable.

I'm in a really good place.
I have good friends to hangout with and talk to.
And my classes seem pretty good already.

This year has already gone by better then last year.
No more uneasiness about finding my way around or hanging out with someone.
Just a nice relaxed atmosphere.
That is exactly what I'm all about and what I'm happy to focus on.

It feels like a different vibe this time around.
Everyone knows each other.
So you don't have to worry about making friendships, because they are already there.
The time of trying to impress people and the stress that goes along with it, has passed by long ago.
Their is no need to try and be different, because people already know who I am.
So I can be myself and not have to worry about making some outstanding impression.
They like me just the way I am, which is very comforting.

Thats how I would describe this year (as of now).
Comfortable.
And there is no need to change.

The World Is All A Smile.

I'm listening to the Hello, Dolly! soundtrack.
It's doing wonders for my mood.

It's funny to see someone I haven't seen in a while, do a double take at me.
My hair isn't that different.
Just shorter and darker.
Actually never mind, it is different.

I've been to two of my classes now.
And both are going to be pretty intensive.
Everything is going pretty well so far.
I really have nothing bad to report for once, which is relieving.

I hope you all had a good day!

Skeeter's Point

Todd is probably one of the best people I know.
That isn't an exaggeration, it's a fact.
He and I went on an adventure today.
We went trekking through the woods and ended at a spot overlooking the Hudson River.
It reminded me of when we would go hiking back in New Hampshire and made me think of home.
He had found the spot last year with his roommates and decided to show me.
We sat on the big boulders lining the cliff and just talked about life.
It was nice to have someone to sit with and just relax.
Someone that just listened and wasn't waiting for their chance to talk and vice versa, of course.
That had been a long time coming and I'm happy that I can call Todd my friend.
So far this year is shaping out to be pretty alright.

New Address In An Old Town

Allyson Ball
CBN#: 1978
1946 Campus Drive
Hyde Park, NY 12538

I think you should send me letters and packages.
It would mean a whole ton if you did!

Take Two.

It's amazing how much has changed since I've been in florida.
The saying "You win some, you lose some" has become a very common phrase.
When I've gained, I've gained big.
When I've lost, I've certainly lost.

I've learned and I've grown.
And now it's time to move on and start again.
I'm excited for this upcoming year.
I'm nervous and anxious, but I feel like I am much better prepared this time around.
I wish I had a little bit more of a break so I can spend more time with Dad.
But there isn't any more time.
Move in day is tomorrow.

Heart Smiles

To day someone asked me if I likedyou.

I laughed , and I said , "Ha! That's funny ! !
I f r e a k i n' L O V E that chick! !She's funny , caring , crazy as heck ,sweet, beautiful , she's readingthis email right now & I love her!!"
Send this to ten ladies you love! !& I better be one ! ! ! !
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~
"Oh Crap, She's up!"

I just received this email.
And to quote miss Ally Berenguer, "It made my Heart Smile!"
The perfect pick-me-up when I was starting to feel a bit nervous and unsure about somethings.

Old Teenage Hopes Are Alive At Your Door.

I'm going to look at this up coming year in the most positive light ever.
I looked at last year with a positive light too, but as the year continued, my moral slowly decreased.
So as a result, that will not happen this year.
Everyone has bad days, but I'm not going to let the bad days dwarf the good days.
Since this year is going to be positive, I am sticking to that trend.
Everyone does bad and hurtful things.
No one is a Saint, myself definitely included.
But a way I can change that, is by forgiving.
Forgiving and Forgetting.
By forgetting, I can completely put it behind me, move on, and start over.
I like starting over.
Why hold on to grudges and mistakes that people have made?
Everyone makes mistakes.
And I really do understand that now.
I would be hanging around in the past when I always talk about moving forward.
That would be stupid to do, not to mention hypocritical.
And I'm not about to do either.

So here's to new beginnings and positivity.
Everything is going to be just fine.

Until The Last Of Days.

I got my school schedule today!
I wish all the class times were a bit more cohesive.
Oh well, we can't have it all I suppose.

I think the class I'm looking forward to the most is Menu Development.
That has "projects" written ALL over it!

Monday:
Restaurant Law - 6:45-8:15pm

Tuesday:
Nutrition - 7:00-9:00am
Intro to Management - 9:15-11:15am
Restaurant Law - 6:45-8:15pm


Wednesday:
Same as Tuesday


Thursday:
Controlling Cost and Purchasing Food - 9:15-11:15am
Menu Development - 4:00-6:00pm
Restaurant Law - 6:45-8:15pm


Friday:
Controlling Cost and Purchasing Food - 9:15-11:15am
Menu Development - 4:00-6:00pm

Sweetheart, Bitter Heart... Now I Can Tell You Apart.

School starts in a week.
I will get to see people again.
But it's tad nerve wracking.
I feel like it's literally been a million years since I have seen everyone.
I'm actually looking forward to starting school again though.
I want to continue learning.

I chopped off all my hair... again.
And I dyed it chocolate brown.
I've had it a week now, but I can't seem to get used to it.
Oh well.

Time for bed.

Moments Like This

Nothing tops sitting on the couch and watching T.V. with my mother.

Tomorrow Is Just A Dream Away.

I am sitting at Orlando International Airport waiting for my flight.
I a flying to Minneapolis/St. Paul then to Vancouver, British Columbia
I honestly can't describe the feeling of euphoria I am currently experiencing with the thought of seeing my mother and sister.
I also find it fascinating that when I leave Minneapolis at 5:25, I will arrive in Vancouver at 4:30.

I feel quite proud of myself.
Externship is over and now all I have to do is make my manual look pretty.
I am so incredibly tired.
But I think the learning and growing I experienced down here was so worth it.
I feel like I've honestly started to become my own person and saw how tough I actually am.
My backbone is stronger than it has ever been.
I have made wonderful friends down here that I believe that I will have years and years down the road.

Yesterday for my last day, Ben and I went to Magic Kingdom.
I had the most amazing time and I am happy to report that the "magic" has not been lost on me.
After working for Cinderella's Royal Table for 18 weeks, I was finally able to get a reservation yesterday for lunch.
During dessert they surprised me with our signature Chocolate Slipper Dessert that said "Good Luck Ally - Cinderella's Royal Table".
I cried.
(Ben took pictures of it and should put them on Facebook soon, it looked beautiful!)
Towards the end of the day I became very sad when I started to really realize that I really wasn't going to see some of these people again.
Even if I do come back next summer for the Alumni Program.
I know I won't see Ally for a good while and I won't see Sam until I get back to New York.
And I know for fact that I won't see Ben for three months.
It is very bittersweet.

I can't believe it is already over.
But I am so excited to go back to school and see my people.
I hope everyone is excited to see me too.

My Rights And Wrongs.

I've always been fascinated by human interaction.
To see why they do the things they do and the choices that they make.
To be plain, I just love learning about what makes a person "tick".

But then comes the confusing part.
When a person's actions and choices go against morals and manners that have been ingrained in my soul since I was a little girl.
The balance of understanding I have to find, is not always easy and clear to locate.
Am I making sense?

When I was small, I was taught my rights and wrongs.
I was told what was acceptable and expected of me and what wasn't.
But most importantly, I was taught how to treat people.
I know for a fact that "treating others the way you would like to be treated" is not just unique to the Ten Commandments.
It spans across all religions and countries.
Having respect for people does not require a spoken language.
It is an ingrained behavior that we learn when we are very young.
And yet, there are people out there that are still so rude, self-centered, and don't treat people right.
It boggles my mind.
I was taught as a kid, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.
But people ignore this concept on a daily basis.
I don't understand why.
I'm no Saint here.
I've done and said things I shouldn't have before.
But I make a valiant effort not to because I don't like being mistreated myself, so I won't do it to others.

I think if everyone just did what they said and said what they meant, the world would be a much better place.
If you just take out all the negative comments and mean gestures, people would be so much more receptive to each other.
I don't understand why people do the things they do sometimes.
Don't they realize that it's not okay?
Doesn't a buzzer or alarm go off in their conscience telling them right from wrong?
I guess it is just exclusive to me.

A Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow...

I am officially coming full circle down here at the Wonderful World of Disney.
My last working shift has been posted and it's a morning shift.
Just like when I started this journey.
I hate mornings.
Oh well.
Surprisingly, I'm actually alright with everything.
I can't believe I only have two weeks left.
Externship seemed like a lifetime away when I started school last year.
But now it's almost over!
Where did all that time go?
I'm going to miss everyone I met.
Three people in particular.
But I'm glad to know, that I have three great life long friends now.

I have been sick for over a month now.
It's been this constant rhythm of just feeling bad and under the weather.
I've been trying to ignore it and just keep going with the grind.
But these last few days have been the worst.
I can't stop sneezing and sniffling.
I'm always overly cold or hot.
My body is so exhausted.
But my brain won't sit still.
I'm completely stressed out with school and this silly Manual thing.
What is wrong with me?
No matter how much I try to relax or sleep, it never goes away.
I just want the world to stop spinning for just a minute and give me a moment's rest.
And now I feel like a wimp for even mentioning that I have been feeling bad.
I shouldn't have said anything.
I'm such a winner at life.

I want to go to Vancouver.
That's all I can say.

Shining At The End Of Every Day.

Crying on the kitchen floor is neither cute or pretty.
It's not some strange habit of mine, I promise.
I just happened to be hungry and on my quest for food when I caught my finger in the fridge door.
It hurt... a lot.
And then I wished for my parents to be there and I became more upset.
Cue: pity party.
It was quite the production.
I'm sure I would have received an oscar nomination.
But all I really wanted at that moment was a hug.
Any hug would do, I don't discriminate.

"You Are Gorgeous."

What makes a person attractive?
Is it their hair or their eyes?
Or how they carry themselves in situations?

What makes a person look at another person and think to themselves, "wow."
What triggers that reaction of thinking about the future?
And how do you know if you met the person you were supposed to be with?

Do you only have one "soulmate"?
If thats true, what happens if something terrible happens before you meet?
Or what if forces beyond your control get in the way of "what could have been"?

And then of course, there is the whole willingness to even try.
But thats a whole other set of questions.

But taking into consideration all my questions...
Hypothetically speaking:
I happen to one day be walking out of the store and I bump into someone.
We exchange the normal awkward apologies.
Humans are very intimate creatures, so touching is seen as very special.
Thats why if you almost run into someone, you both back quickly away and stutter apologies.
Not because you might run into them, but you might touch them and that is invading the person space of someone, which also leads to the fact that people are very considerate (most of the time) about personal space of others.
Anyway, so what happens now?
You walk away.
And thats it.
But... how do you know that you didn't just run into your future spouse or possible greatest friend for life?
Chance meetings happen like this all the time and people ignore them.
All just because it happened in a split second and with the knowledge that you will never see this person again.

But what if you do see this person again?

Optimism will be the death of me.
And I am actually alright with that.

I'm Gonna Watch You Shine.

I sat here for like 20 minutes trying to think of something to write.
It still isn't working.

...I'm eating pasta for dinner tonight.
It's going to taste so yummy.
My average-ness is so un-startling.

Way Hay And Up She Rises..

Being an adult is expensive.

Birthday Shout Out!

Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday Dear Grandma!!!!!!
Happy Birthday To You!

I would have preferred to call you, but I figured that this would be an alright "next best" thing.
I love and miss you and I hope you've been having a nice time, I'll make sure to call you as soon as I can!

Love, Allyson

El Burro Es Un Animal Importante.

Whenever I hear people talk about my Grandfather, they always mention his laugh.
It wasn't just a laugh.
It was a way of living.
When Grandpa laughed, it was a show all on it's own.
It could easily be heard across the room.
But I know you could hear it across the country if you tried hard enough.
His face would squinch up to the point where his smile would completely overtake his features.
It was like an explosion of happiness.
This from-the-depths-of-the-belly laugh, which I can only describe as the human personification of a sonic boom, resulted in earsplitting goodness.

I miss that laugh.

When we lived back in Ohio, I remember always wanting to spend the night at Grandma and Grandpa's big blue house.
Yes being with them was wonderful and I loved it when Grandma would wake us up for breakfast, but my favorite part was always shaving time.
The feeling of squishing Grandpa's white shaving cream on my fingers and all over my face are some the best memories I have of their house in Ohio.

Being the youngest I always had to take naps.
At the time of course, I didn't realize how good I had it.
After waking from my forced daily coma, I would always try to make unnecessary noise.
This insured that the grownups downstairs knew that I, sleeping beauty, had awoken from my slumber and was ready to be let out.
Grandpa always came to get me and would let me piggyback all the way down the stairs to parade me around.

I miss the piggybacks and shaving cream.

Grandpa was a very religious man.
He was going to be a lawyer at first, but due to my Grandmother's faith and influence, he changed his career from a life of reading court documents to a life of reading the Holy Bible.
My Grandpa couldn't hold a music note to save his life, but that didn't stop him from belting it out like Aretha Franklin.
I just wish I could have had a conversation with him about God, because I don't think I ever did.
If only I had understood God and church a little bit sooner in life..

I miss the off-key singing.

Grandpa got very sick.
They called it "Dementia".
I had never heard of it before then.
But I was told that he wasn't able to remember things as well anymore and he wasn't going to get better.
It makes me sad sometimes that I have all these memories of Grandpa from when I was younger, but Hannah and Nicholas won't.
I just don't want them to forget him.
Because he is such an unforgettable man.
And on top of that, he was a very great person and an even better Grandfather.

But I don't want to miss him too much, he is seeing his mother and father again and having conversations with God after all.
And I know that I will see him again.

But I can't help missing him.

Reaching A Fever Pitch.

I feel pretty lousy about how I just acted.
Even though I was completely honest.
I'm supposed to help out, they have always helped me.
I feel selfish now for what I've said.

I didn't mean to..
I've just truly learned what the value of a dollar is now being here at Disney.
How much my time of nine hours in a small, hot kitchen is worth as a small college program student.
When I look at my bank account, I feel proud of it.
But it's so very tiny and as a result I feel somewhat guilty when I buy a lot of stuff.
That money is going to the future.
It's the "Restaurant Fund".
It's the "Dream College Fund".

I'm just very protective of it.
And I feel bad for how I came off.
You've made sacrifices for me.
I must now do the same.
There is no other alternative, because it's only fair.
But it's the only money I have in the world.

Natural's Not In It.

Nothing has happened really since the last time I updated this thing.

The only thing news worthy I have to tell is that I'm finally starting to become comfortable and acclimated with everyone at work, the work itself, the roommates, and living in Florida.
I'm actually happy.

So that date I was supposed to go on?
Yeah... no go.
He cancelled due to the rain.
No, seriously... the rain.
No joke.
The guys at work have threatened to beat him up and go over to EPCOT to terrorize the guy for me.
I'm not a big promoter of violence but I couldn't help but smile.

At the end of the day, I'm more bummed that I didn't get to go on my date, then not getting to spend time with this guy.
He was nice and all, but he just had this sort of air about him.
It's hard to explain, but at least he did me a favor and prevented anything from happening between us.
He's texted me and stuff, but I really haven't  responded.
I'm not all that interested anymore.

oh well..

In The Gap Between The Two Trapezes

Work isn't so bad anymore.
Everyday I'm learning to better myself.
To correct my mistakes and get myself out of the deep end ("the weeds").
And of course, no one has let me fail.

We have a new College Program Student at work.
His name is Drew and he is very nice.
He is actually dating another CP at Royal Table and it was by chance that he was assigned there.
Some people are just lucky I guess.
It's amazing to see how far I've come in just a few weeks, when I've had time to watch him and his actions.

My new roommates Ally and Sam are fantastic people and are both in culinary.
That is all.

I met someone on the bus one day.
I was going to the AMC at Downtown Disney to see the new Pirates movie.
(Which I thought was great.)
He was new and needed help with which bus he needed to take.
Being my wonderful-awesome-super-helpful self, I told him what he needed to know.
It just so happened that the bus he needed was mine.
So in short, we started talking, he asked me for my number and we have been texting each other back and forth for like two weeks.
He has now asked me on a date.
And I, of course, said yes.
Hopefully it goes well.

Castle In The Sky

My favorite part of any work day is probably three seconds long at most.
That is honestly not an exaggeration.
It is a view of Cinderella Castle that is only seen when riding the cast member VIP bus.
So guests to the magic kingdom sadly won't ever see it.
But it is such a beautiful shot of the castle I look forward to it every single day that I work.
And it's more then just a view of the castle.
Depending on the time of the day the castle will be a completely different color then the normal off white and blue.
I've seen it when it was bright magenta at six in the morning and dark purple at midnight.
It might be the sun that causes the color or just simply disney's magic at work, but in the end I don't really care.
Those few seconds are the best part of my day and it reminds me of where I currently am in the world.

Work is very tough at times.
The hours are extremely long and the conditions are burning hot.
I have multiple burns littering my arms.
And water evaporates and sweats from your body faster then you can drink it.
Orders come in seven at a time and don't stop.
At the end of every day all I want to do is sit down and not move.
Usually I'm successful, but there is also the need for a shower and food that get in the way.

Hopefully things get a little easier.

It Rains When It Shines.

In Florida, it will downpour rain while it is still sunny outside.
I had forgotten in my time away from the sunshine state.

I don't have much to say.
Just trying to get over this bug that has infected me.
I'm actually eating solid food now, so I think I'm making progress.

This week I have learned the true value of a dollar.
It is a cold harsh reality that my hours of literal blood, sweat and tears have equaled so little income.
Still a bit iffy on this whole "growing-up/working/adult" thing I seem to find myself facing on a daily basis.

Work is tough.
It's so hot and it's long hours.
And the tickets just keep coming.
They never stop.
I feel like I'm not totally in a rhythm at work yet, which worries me still.
I feel like a small child in a room full of giants most of the time.
Just feeling my way through the dark and hoping to find a light switch.
I just hope I get more comfortable sooner rather then later.
But it's impossible to rush practice because what practice needs, is time.

Work tomorrow.
It's a closing shift and then the next day I have an opening shift.
Awesome.

Where The Birds Sing Words.

I was grilling frenched lamb racks while he took a moment to watch me.
The heat of the grill was burning and coloring my face dark pink.
I could feel my hands sweat under my plastic gloves as they tighten around my fingers.
The sizzling of the meat as it seared against the hot black bars was like a symphony to my ears.
The smell of the lamb rub caressed my nose like a blanket of amazingness.

Chef Bubba, (the same man who was watching me) who is the executive chef at Cinderella's asked me something yesterday.

Do I regret this profession?

Regret?

Do I regret the heat of the grill?

The sweat under my gloves?

Or the now 10+ burns that I have gained within nine days of work?

Or the hours upon hours on my feet without a break?

Do I regret making beautiful looking lamb chop plates that people were about to pay sixty dollars for?

Or meeting the great and friendly people, who I am blessed to call my co-workers?

Or the numerous compliments I received today on my appetizer plates?

Or the feeling of pride and humbleness I felt when receiving those compliments?

Regret?

"No chef, not at all. I've dreamed about doing this since I was nine years old."

"Huh, well alright then, can't argue with that!"

The Power To Be Strong.

So today was my last and final day of training.
It was long, tiring, and my feet hurt.
But very rewarding.
Even when my feet were hurting and all I wanted was to sit down for five minutes, I still felt so happy to see an order ticket that I needed to complete.
Hopefully once I truly get into the swing of things, I won't loose that happiness too much.

My biggest worry (which honestly is starting to become a normal occurance for me) is being unprepared.
Depending on which station I am assigned to (grill, saute, middle/fry, pantry) there are many things that I need to gather for my self and prep work that needs to be done for myself and other stations that I contribute to, that I'm afraid that I will forget to do some of the work or won't have enough time before service.
I know that people at work are going to help me if I ask, but I still want to be able to be organized by myself without someone holding my hand.
And that's what training has felt like a bit.
Not that I didn't love and appreciate how helpful and wonderful everyone was, it's just that for the past five days I've felt a bit useless right at the beginning when set up is happening because my trainers have always been getting the stuff we need.

Reading that back to myself, I can see how what I just wrote probably doesn't make complete sense to you.
So my basic point is that I don't want to feel useless or in over-my-head, which is what I've been feeling like for the past five days.
I mean, everyone has been saying that I've been doing a good job and stuff.
But it's not just me doing it all.
Yes there are times when it is just me filling the order and cooking it myself, but I haven't had to completely rely on myself in having to get more product from the downstairs kitchen because my trainers have always been free to do it.
So it's almost like I've been having two invisible hands helping me out the entire time, and come Wednesday they will be gone.

So for now, I worry just a bit.

The Dreamers Disease

So today was my first day in the kitchen at Cinderella's Royal Table.
There are two levels to the kitchen and both are long and narrow.
The dinning room is so pretty, so hopefully I'll be able to take pictures.
I was so nervous, but I had to be a work at 6am sharp (making me wake up at 4am) so I was too tired to care.
I was there for both breakfast and lunch service.
And I was experiencing little bursts of adrenaline through both services, which helped me wake up a bit.
They put me right on the line in both, so I was able to cook and compose plates at the same time.
My trainer said I did a great job and that the reason she could tell was because she never had to swoop in and save me from being buried by orders.

I would say today was very successful.
Everyone I met was very nice and friendly.
besides being allowed to take on the line on my first day, I think my favorite parts of the day were when I was able to see the princesses out in the dinning room talking to the guests.
I know its a bit dorky, but I felt like a kid in a candy store whenever I saw them.

I'm so exhausted.
I hope you had a good day.

Duck Sauce

Currently relaxing in Uncle Brian and Aunt Allston's living room.
Mood: Content/Happy
Energy Level: Tired
Stress Level: Low

On Tuesday I start my park orientation.
I'll be able to visit the royal table (and most likely ask lots of questions)
Probably get fitted for my costume and get some sort of schedule.
I'm a little anxious to just start.
I'm not a big fan of just sitting around when something important I have to do is looming over my head.
But for now, I am spending time with my family and relaxing with them.

That Awkward Phase.

So I am in a three bedroom apartment and it is two people per room.
I've met every single one of my other roommates except for the girl I'm sharing a room with.
Oh well, hopefully I'll run into her some time before she leaves on the 27th.
After that, from what they have told me, we will get two new roommates in our apartment.

Everyone I've met so far seems pretty nice.
But I'm still in that awkward phase of not really knowing what I'm doing, but everyone has been very welcoming.

Today I went to casting to hand in my on-boarding paperwork and to get fingerprinted.
And afterwards, I spent time at my aunt and uncle's house.
Tomorrow I will be going to "The Commons" which is another apartment complex and I'll have and introduction to housing and probably all the rules and regulations that Disney has.
But then I believe I'm free for the rest of the day, so I don't know what I'll do with myself.

I'll figure something out.

Rabbit Heart.

Sitting in Manchester Airport is probably the most boring thing in the world, not going to lie.
I've never flown by myself before, and it's a little unsettling.
I know I always claimed that I was nervous about leaving, but it honestly didn't hit me until now.
Which seems to be a re-occuring event in my life.
I can't believe I'm leaving.
Again.
Saying goodbye to dad and Ash was pretty hard.

Disney seems like a completely different planet.
When I was at school, I always knew at the back of my mind that Dad was always just four hours away.
But now it's not going to be like that.
Thankfully, I have wonderful family down in Orlando that I can spend time with and call if I need something.
But still, it's very daunting that I am going to be by myself again.

I wonder what my roommate will be like and which program she will be in.
Maybe she will be from a different country?

I hope I like it in Florida, it's been a while since I've been there.

Ten Things I Know To Be True.

1. I am horribly nervous about flying to Florida on Monday.

2. My mother calls me Pocahontas.

3. The water that comes from my tap at home is a million times better then anything bottled.

4. If I could, I would be a writer/astronaut/chef/paleontologist who spends her days in the Pacific Northwest and eats Kitkat bars everyday.

5. I keep catching myself looking around for my dog.

6. My father makes eggs the correct way.

7. I'm quite, not because I'm shy, but because I have nothing to say or I am listening to you talk.

8. I had toast and ramen noodles for dinner tonight. It was delicious.

9. A bad day can be remedied by chocolate, relaxing music, and reassuring words. Though not necessarily in that order.

10. Ambient noise puts me to sleep better then silence.

On Those Pretty Dicey Days.

If I could choose one word to describe this year, I would choose "Discovery".

I have discovered this year:
What kind of person I'm starting to become (whether I like that person or not, remains to be fully seen.)
That sometimes the people who you thought were friends, never really were.
That hugs really do make things better.
That people are not always who they seem.
That pride and arrogance are very different words.
That honesty is the best solution and usually the hardest.
That getting the wind kicked out of you is a good reminder of how great oxygen tastes.
That working until your bones ache means that you have accomplished something.
That complaining about things, all the time, will not make it go away.
That pots and pans on the stove are usually very hot.
That you need to take a few punches to get tough.
That being tough means letting people see you cry, but not submitting to defeat.
That a smile can make someone's day.
That it's hard to be the hero when the people you're trying to help are standing on your cape.
That I don't have a best friend, even though I imagine it would be nice to have one.
That I don't need a best friend because I have many fantastic friends around me, especially my parents.
That people talk, backtalk, and gossip.
That saying what you mean and doing what you say are very important.
That people are easily offended.
That recipes are just guidelines and don't usually workout.
That food usually tastes better when you just eyeball it.
That I am always listening.
That pettiness is petty, so please stop.
That you can only complain about something for so long until I can predict your every line.
That when telling people I have six demerits, watching the reactions are priceless.
That laughing until your sides hurt is the best way to spend time with someone.
That I don't feel the need to talk to fill the silence.
That dreams of a 9 year old girl can come true.
That I can make some really good coleslaw.
That karma exists.
That good things come in threes and so do bad things.
That some hurts can't be fixed with band aids or rubbing dirt on it.
That there will be days when all I want to do is curl up tight in a corner somewhere.
That on a scale from one to over-trusting, I can be very naive.
That I will apologize when I've done something wrong.
That I will not apologize for looking a the world from an optimistic perspective.
That dreams and reality tend to be more similar then we hope.
That walking around with open arms tends to leave me defenseless, but more receptive to wonderful things.
That I have old eyes and an even older soul.
That my self confidence can be measured in teaspoons and because of that, I will never give up.
That talking to someone, who is just listening and not waiting for their turn to talk, is made of gold to me.
That I don't think I can change the world yet, because I don't know that much about it.
That secrets both create and destroy people.
That I don't tend to like the boy next door, I like the nerd down the street.
That being a shoulder for people is tough, but helping them recover is the best reward.
That direct eye contact is something I crave.
That being an adult is a learning process.
That 19 feels a whole lot like 9.
That I need to cook and be happy.
That I am a good friend.
That Ma and Daddy said there would be days like this.
That if I follow my feet I will end up somewhere.
That these are not the last words I will type, but just the last words to this chapter in my grand adventure.
That the universe gets pretty dicey at times, to the point where everything is going wrong,
But reminding myself that those dicey days will never hold a candle to the wonders of this life, makes growing up much more bearable.

The Wisdom To Be Wise.

So today was my 19th birthday.
I literally had the Best. Day. Ever.

Surprise delivery of pretty flowers from Ma and Daddy!

Three pieces of seafood terrine, a roasted beet with apple and horseradish cream & red vinaigrette,
A lobster madallion, Potato & parsley dip & parsnip crisp.

I've been in such a good mood all day.
And Chef Averbeck loved our demo plate!
And he found out that it was my birthday and had the entire class sing to me.
I was so embarrassed, but I can't express how honestly happy it made me.
It felt like people (outside of family) honestly cared that it was my birthday today.
I haven't ever really felt like that before.
I felt very loved today.
I can't imagine how my day could possibly get better.
I hope your day was just as good as mine.
<3

C'est La Vie

So it's my birthday weekend.
Today was so beautiful out, I couldn't help but be happy.
I received a really beautiful birthday card from my grandmother, so that made my day even better.

No, I don't have any plans for this weekend.
Which I'm not all that bent out of shape about.
I mean, it's just a birthday.
If I'm lucky, I'll have many more.
Nineteen is a stupid age anyway.
It's not like twenty-one, where you are allowed to drink and gamble legally.
Not that age has stopped me before, but you get the general idea.

It would be nice to spend the weekend with someone.
But it's not going to happen because the weekend it already half completed.
So there is no use talking about it anymore.

It's fine.
That's life.

For One So Small, You Seem So Strong.

So Daddy came on Saturday to pick up a majority of my stuff.
I have the bare minimum in my room right now and it causes the room to look gigantic.
Everything has been going fine in class.
And I'm still tired as always.
I miss home, but I know I'll be there soon.
Just two more weeks.
It doesn't seem so far anymore.

And Then There Was One.

I have had a really fortunate life.
I truly have some of the most remarkable and kind people surrounding me.
What did I ever do, to become so lucky?

My parents married very young, but very in love.
Growing up, we didn't have the biggest and best of everything.
Our houses were small, but welcoming.
And we had each other.
I know that sounds pretty corny, but it's true.
A house is not a home.
Home is where family and friends are.
I know my parents have always been a bit lamentful towards the fact that I've never had my own room.
Ashley did, simply because she was the oldest and arrived first.
Stephen, because he was the boy.
And I got a bit of the short end, for being the youngest.
I'm used to sharing a room with someone, because that's all I've known.
So coming to college knowing I was going to room with people wasn't a big deal to me.

And so I come to the point of this story.
Morgan and Stephanie have moved out for externship.
The room is completely bare on there sides.
It very quiet.
But it's sort of nice.
I have my own room for the first time.
But it is still a bit strange because every time I look towards Steph's side or Morgan's desk, I'm kind of expecting someone to be there.
But they aren't.
And I continue on with whatever I'm doing.
It really isn't bad being in here alone.

This room holds a lot of memories.
Both the good and bad.
I imagine I'll miss this room after I leave in three weeks.

You're The Line In The Sand When I Go Too Far.

K-16 over and done.
Thank god.
I might miss it just a tiny bit, not going to lie..
Chef and Michael were pretty awesome.

Next hurdle: 2nd Term Practical on Tuesday.

...ugh.

If You Were A Wink, I'd Be A Nod.

Apologies are more then just finding out who was right or who was wrong in the situation.
It's about caring more about the relationship then your ego.
I learned that today.
Hopefully I can apply it to real life one day.

Cook & Be Happy.

So I went with Stephanie to the Ferran Adria demo today.
I thought he was gonna do something cool with molecular gastronomy for us.
But they ended up just having a Q&A session.
It was interesting, but it was a bit of a let down.

I then left to go work K-16 for the other half of my Independent Study Day.
But lady luck seemed to smirk at me and I was sent home within the first fifteen minutes of being there due to there being too many people showing up to work.
I am pretty happy, I guess, but I did put up a bit of a fight to stay because I was already in the middle of switching into my "kitchen mindset".
Which sounds a bit strange that I need to be in a certain mindset to go to class.
But K-16, or any production kitchen, can really be that stressful.
It's a bit awkward knowing that some of my team members are still there and working without me.
But if I honestly wasn't needed then I'm alright with coming back to the room.
I would rather do that, then be in the way, you know?

“Cook and be happy, and let the consequences decide.”

- Ferran Adria

When You Only Got 100 Years To Live.

This is my 100th blog.

I'm in a pretty good place at the moment.
My group in class had a big pow wow last night and I think we have bonded together a little more.
Things needed to be tossed out in the open and talked about.
Christian and I were able to finally talk out our issues, fully and in front of everyone, so hopefully things will get better from here.

I had a good long talk with my mother the other day about people in general and why they like to confuse me.
Because they do confuse me, quit a lot actually.
I don't really know why.
I like people a lot.
But sometimes they do things that are rude, selfish, or arrogant, etc.
They don't take other's feelings into consideration.
And I don't understand why.
Is it really that challenging to think about something other then yourself?

I mean, I know I'm not a saint or anything.
I tend to think about my own personal happiness a lot of the time.
But I've always tried very hard to keep other people in mind.
That I know every action I make will have a reaction, good or bad.
But you see it all the time in life where people don't think of the consequences of their actions.
Like whether or not they are making good choices or hurting people that care about them.

It just confuses me that people don't take five minutes everyday to stop and think about someone other then themselves and about how they act or what they say could potentially hurt someone.

I don't really know where I'm going with this... but I hope I managed to make a point somewhere along the line.

-----

K-16 is the toughest class I've had so far.
Which is really no surprise, but still.
The first two days in class were a nightmare.
Yesterday was the best day so far.
I grilled Tarragon Turkey Burgers like a pro.
Michael, our TA, said that they were all perfectly cooked and juicy without being raw.
Chef loved them too.
None were sent back to the kitchen.
Huzzah for success!

Round Your Crown Of Thieves.

I don't think I've ever stressed this bad in class before.

K-16 is the main production kitchen at CIA
A typical dinner service will produce between 350-400 plates.
But thats only because all the bachelor degree students aren't on campus and are on their wines trips in Spain or Napa Valley.

My body hurts, specifically my back.
My finger tips are burned.
I'm pretty tired.
I've probably sweated off a million pounds.
And the best part?
I pretty much enjoyed every second of it.
Even though I was in the weeds a majority of the time.

btw: I made braised short ribs with whipped potatoes & roasted seasonal vegetables. Sold out completely.

You Stand In The Line Just To Hit A New Low.

Okay... I'm ready to go home.
Anytime now....
Go.
Start.
...hurry up... please?

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

I laughed quite heartily about you today.
Karma karma karma karma.
But then I felt bad for laughing, because it wasn't something daddy, mom or God or whoever I hold in high regard, would have been proud of.
Now I feel indifferent.
I don't really know how to explain it.
I feel bad, but not really.
Is that terrible to say?
Is it even more terrible to say that I don't care if it is?
...I'm confused.

Booze In The Blender.

I guess I spoke too soon.
My bad.
I guess I will always look for the best in people, even though there is little to be found sometimes.
How stuck up bitchy of me to say!
I suppose I'll never learn.

Darn it.
My little heart breaks...
Oh, wait... stuck up bitches don't have hearts.
Never mind.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

In other worldly news I have the biggest bruise on my thigh (again) and I don't know how I got it.
Breakfast class is going well, just very tiring which makes me not the cheeriest person to be around, when 11am comes around when my energy starts to crash.

The end is getting closer.
I need a bit of a break before I go galavanting off to Disney World.

My life is so awesome!
Everyone loves me!
And I'm a stuck up bitch, so i'm able to say things like that!

Everybody's Changing.

So I received a great text message last night.
Made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside:

Secret: college turned you into a stuck up bitch.


Problem is the number that they sent it from isn't programed into my phone.
IE. I have no idea who it could possibly be.

I feel like I can really go two ways with this kind of thing.
I can't act totally by instinct and go absolutely mental about this whole situation.
Or I can act rationally and calmly, let it slide and not worry about it too much because the friends and family around me love and care about me.
I'll keep you updated on my choice.

But I just can't help but wonder..
What could possibly antagonize this person enough to send me something like this?
What did I do or say the causes them to think I turned into a stuck up bitch?

I tried brainstorming last night about who could have possibly done it
Theresa was the last sort of "confrontation" that I had with someone from back home.
That was freaking November.
A million and a half years ago. and we even sorted it out and split on civil terms the next day.
It is now March and someone is randomly texting me this.
***(ps. I am in NO WAY AT ALL pining this on Theresa. I am just stating that she was my last "fight" from home. Thank you.)


They have my phone number.
And have/had access to my facebook account because they knew about my "secrets" status updates from forever ago.

Personally I think I'm having a great three weeks, I mean first my dog passes away, then I get sick (still getting over it), cuisines of asia was the bane of my existence, Im now waking myself up at 2 in the morning to go to breakfast class and when I'm getting ready for bed last night I get some random text message from someone back home saying this to me.

I don't understand why this is happening to me.
Again.
I don't understand.
What the hell have I ever done to anyone?
What actions or words do I say to be treated in this manor?
Did someone really take the time and energy to type out a message to me like that?
Bottom line what really upsets me the most is that they didn't say it to my face.
They hid behind a screen.

I honestly try.
I really do try to be a good, happy, honest person.
To live my life with a smile on my face because life is too short to frown.
If college has done anything to me, it's given me a backbone.
I have become confident in my abilities and my self.
I am becoming so goal oriented and for the first time I have thought completely about what I want for myself now and for the future.
I have been accepted to a school that I have dreamed about attending since I was 8 years old.
Because this is my only shot; my only chance to aim towards my dreams and aspirations.

If that is called a "Stuck-up Bitch" then by god, I am happy to be one.

I'm On My Way..

"I'm on my way to what I want from this world
And years from now you'll make it to the next world
And everything that you receive up yonder
Is what you gave to me the day I wandered,

I'm on my way."

One Way Or Another.

Tomorrow is my final day of cuisines of asia.
I am very happy about this.
I'm excited for breakfast class and K16 dinner service.
But I'm tired.
I just want school to be over with so I can go home and see my family.

I feel weird.
I'm happy.
But not as much as I could be.

My throat hurts.
My nose is runny.
I'm getting sick.


Awesome. 



I came up with a burger last night, for my bar/cafe/eatery/dive thing, laying in bed.
It's tentatively called "The Scarlett Burger"
Its going to have toppings and condiments that are only red or in the red color family.
I thought it was kinda clever.. for Scarlett and it's colored scarlet...
Yeah.. anyway I like the idea, but this is all I have so far.

Wonder Beagle

You were the best company I ever had.

You were an amazing curer of loneliness.

I will miss you forever.

At least Grandpa gets to see you again.

I remember the night so clearly in my brain.

We still lived in Ohio

It was late and I was in bed.

Mommy just came home with you in her arms.

You were abandoned in the parking lot in front of her store.

You were a tiny puppy with big ears.

She set you right on top of my legs; waking me up.

You were beautiful.

We named you Katie Scarlett O'Hara.

Daddy said you deserved a good southern bell name.

Katie Scarlett O'Hara Ball.

Garbage Can.

You liked bones.

A lot.

You wore handkerchiefs

Your birthday was celebrated on July 4th.

Though you didn't really like fireworks.

Or any loud noises, actually.

You snored, just like Dad.

Green eyes, just like me.

Bed hog.

You liked pillows.

And Blankets.

And the couch.

But most of all, you loved sitting in the sun by the sliding glass door.

That was your spot.

I missed you a lot in class today.

Daddy called me, and I instantly knew what had happened before he even said anything.

Chef Corky Clark, one of the fish instructors, found me and helped me to health services.

He was so nice and kind to me.

Taylor David, a girl and friend from my class just so happened to be in health services at the same time.

I explained what happened and she made sure people didn't ask me what was wrong when I got back to class.

She is so nice.

I knew that I couldn't leave them in service.

They are my team and I had work to do.

Besides, leaving would make me think about it more.

At least I had something to sort of focus on.

The cooking made me a bit happier.

But once I stopped for only one second, I started thinking.

It was terrible.

The only way I could talk was through a whisper.

Or at least it felt like I was whispering.

It felt like everyone was looking at me but didn't look at me in the eye when I would look back.

But it's fine, I didn't want them too.

I was upset when I came home.

I sat on my bed and cried.

Morgan came in and asked me if I was okay.

It sounded loud.

I got very annoyed very quickly.

Obviously I wasn't.

I yelled.

Out of anger and distress.

 I don't like yelling at people, but I did.

And that upset me further.

Then Stephanie stuck up for me and they started yelling.

It just wasn't friendly

And I kept crying.

Stephanie gave me eclairs and said everything was going to be okay.

I believe her.

But I know it wont be for a little while.

I just feel tired.

My eyes hurt.

I miss you.

I'm Just Here To Say Hello.

Just ran out of my Manchester tap water.
"bummed", doesn't begin to describe it.

The Times They Are A-Changin'.

I miss home already.
This visit wasn't going to be long enough.
And I already knew that leaving campus on Friday.
I'm so grateful towards my Dad for coming to get me, even when he had a cold.
Which should also hit me around mid-week.
(cross your fingers and knock on wood for me, the last thing I need is to get sick.)

I didn't really want to come back.
It's not the work or the classes I didn't want to come back to.
It's the isolation and the mean people here.
Dad told me to tough it out.
Not to let this people dictate my actions and etc..
And I'm not.
It's just tough at times.
Tougher than what I want to deal with.
But I will.
Eight weeks until I leave and then go on extern.

Externship + Walt Disney World(X 18 weeks) = Happiness
Happiness = Ally.

I want this T-shirt.
I take a men's medium.
Hint hint.
http://www.snorgtees.com/that-s-my-jam

Home Is Where The Heart Is.

Truer words were probably spoken...
But this place certainly makes me doubt that.

My dog is the prettiest beagle I have ever seen.
Manchester tap water reigns supreme. fact.
I have the best bed ever.
My house is wonderful.
I hate our stove even more, now that I'm used to gas stoves.
I missed my grocery store. (weird, I know.)
I love sitting on the couch with Daddy and Ashley, and having dad commentary on the movie or show we are watching.

I kinda wanna stay for a while.
I missed this place.
It's only missing two things though... Ma and Stephen.
But I'll see them both really soon.

Fear No Evil, Except For Your Lack Of Courage.

I don't like Valentine's Day.
Note that I said, "I don't like".
That doesn't mean I hate it.
I think it's just another excuse for Hallmark and Candy Companies to make a lot of money.
The whole concept of the holiday makes little sense to me.
That you are supposed to be nice to these people on this particular day.
Apparently a box of chocolates and a card it's supposed to signify to that person that you love them.

Well to be quite honest, I don't need a silly lovey dovey day to tell my family and friends that I love them.
I'm perfectly content with telling them everyday, about my love.
I would like to think I bombard them with love and attention all year around, to the point where Valentine's Day would just be considered overkill.
Bottom line, I think Valentine's Day is a tad bit superficial.
It's like "here Hun, I got you crappy chocolate, a 18934k gold necklace and a stupid card that someone made a boatload creating. This tells you that I love you."
What happened to the good old days when people just said I love you out of the blue, just because?
That's what I'm trying to do.
I don't use one day to tell someone I love them.
I try to use 365 days.
So no, I don't hate Valentine's Day, I just love and appreciate everyone all year around instead of just a single day.


Chef Smythe is okay.
He is actually really funny in a strange, morbid sort of way.
He is very philosophical.
He knows a lot about a lot.
And he knows it.
And because of this he talks for a very long time.
Very long..... to the point where his voice is monotone and what he says starts traveling in one ear and out the other.
But that only happens during lecture, thankfully.
He doesn't exude the warm and fuzzy feelings.
Instead he is firm and frank, but understanding and fair.
Very fair.
I like him so far.
I think people were wrong about him.
He isn't mean, he is just realistic and fair.
I guess people are too sensitive.
I imagine that he will get much tougher as we progress, but that's just the nature of the machine.
I want him to get tougher, I want him to push us and make us better students.
The last group of kids that was in his class, the block in front of us, didn't open and serve on their first day because they ruined the white rice so Chef shut the kitchen down.
He spoke to us on the first day for 3 hours, stopped at about 4:30pm, pushed the open for service time from 5:30 to 6pm and we still managed to open, albeit 15mins late at 6:15, but we opened.
I talked to Chef Walsh today (my cuisines of Americas chef) and told him that and he was very impressed with us.
I sorta miss being in Americas.
I do like Asia but, it's not the same.
I just feel like we'll be doing a lot of the same kind of technique because everything is practically cooked in Woks.
Eh, whatever.

So Stephanie got me a Valentine's Day gift.
It was a pretty card saying that she loved me and that I was her best friend and telling me good luck in Asia.
And yummy candy!
Goodness I love this girl.. probably one of the nicest people ever.
No joke.
I'll miss her when she leaves to go to Georgia for the weekend.

Fear no evil, except for your lack of courage.
- Chef Smythe

We No Speak Americano

I grilled a lot of fish today for day two Mexico.
Which was quite a departure from our Poached Veracruz dish yesterday.
And as always Chef Walsh was happy to help me out.
I'm really going to miss him being my chef.
He was tough, but very fair.
I hold a lot of respect for him.
It's a shame that we are already leaving just when it seems that he is starting to open up and get comfortable enough with us to be joking and sarcastic and vice versa. (Well, for me at least.)

I'm nervous for Asia.
I heard some stuff about Chef Smythe.
Both good and bad.
Hopefully he is more good then anything.
I'm just going to try to keep my head down and do my work.
Hopefully he won't yell at me too much.

The King Of Anything.

I don't have much to say today except I really like Cuisines of the Americas.
I just get happy thinking about all of the ingredients and methods and the history of these different foods.
I feel like I've been at my happiest in this class.
It's just so interesting and different from what we've learned already. (basic Classical French)
I'm nervous and yet excited at going into Cuisines of Asia.
But I know I will do fine.
I just hope that this positive, happy attitude will stick around, I missed it..

I Wanna Be Praised From A New Perspective.

I've actually had a really good weekend.
Kinda slow in some parts, but that's alright with me.
I have a lot of homework to do, but nothing I don't think I could do.

Probably the only crappy part I've had, I'm experiencing right now.
You know what's worse then two people making out in the same room as you?
Two people making out in the bunk above you, making gross noises, moving around, and I don't know what else.
Trust me when I say it's truly worse.

I know the logical thing would be to leave and go to the lounge or something, but I'm not going to.
I was here first, I shouldn't have to leave, this is my room too!
They left and then decided to come back.
So it's not like they don't know I'm here or anything.
Why they couldn't go back to his room, I have no idea.
I attribute it to they don't actually give a damn.
Which is so rude and uncaring, it's making me see red.
I seriously hate people like this.
Makes me want to vom and punch something.

But other then that, I'm actually in a pretty good mood.
I'm feeling positive and hopeful.
From and for what, I'm not totally sure.
But I'm just going with it.

Attitude For Life

The most entertaining thing to watch in my Interpersonal Communications class is everyone's nervous habits when it's their turn to public speak.
No two habits are exactly alike.
Everyone is a special snowflake and it is so funny.
A restless hand, twitching after every word spoken.
Gripping the podium like they might fall over.
A vigorous sway from side to side.
Hands stuffed deeply into pockets.
Legs constantly crossing and uncrossing.
Switching from one relaxed hip to the other.
The never failing "Um" and "Like" that unnecessarily fill momentary gaps of silence.
Ah the joys of human nerves.

Mr. Fischetti, my IPC teacher told us something today.
It was called the "Attitude For Life", and it made me think.
I think I will keep it for awhile.
I like it.

Attitude For Life:
1. I don't know everything.
2. I never will.
3. Everyone has something to contribute.

Hurricane Headache, Please Avoid My State Of Mind.

As much as I love school and what I'm learning, I just want to go home.
I have a headache.
I want a hug.
I want something more familiar then here...


I, I, I.
Me, Me, Me...
"I hate this, I hate that."
"Why does everything happen to me."
Boohoo.
It seems that is all I say anymore.
Grow up Al, jeez.
You knew this was going to be hard.
Suck it up.
Stop crying.
You are going to be just fine.
2 1/2 months.
It could be so much worse then this.

Ki Ngombo

I made Alligator & Andouille Gumbo in class today for Southern Cooking day.
Did you know that the word "Gumbo" is derived from the word "Ki Ngombo" which means Okra?
It is from the language of the West African Bantu tribe.

It came out great, though I did start a tad bit behind schedule and ended up not being able to put up a demo cup for it.
I imagine Chef took off some serious points for that.
But he said my gumbo was very pretty and tasted good, so I guess that counts for something right?

It was all Southern food.
Ranging from Creole and Cajun to Dixie Southern.
And the only thing I could think about when I was in class and at dinner today was my Dad.
I wanted him to be hovering over my shoulder so I could share my recipes with him.
Because out of everyone I practically know, (except for probably Mom & Aunt Cydney) Dad would appreciate it the most.
But it will still be a while until I will be able to show him.
I miss them.
And I miss my dog.

Blame It On The Coleslaw..

When I was younger, I hated coleslaw.
It tasted, looked, and smelled funny.
I attribute it to my childhood taste buds.
I couldn't understand why my dad would always eat it.
Raw cabbage?
No thank you.
Thankfully my taste buds changed, just like mom always said they would when I was younger.
I love coleslaw now.


Today was my first day in Cuisines of The Americas.
Every two days the region we will be studying and cooking about will change.
Today (and tomorrow!) was New England Cuisine
I was on Salt-Cod Cakes with Kathryn Woodliff, who I actually haven't worked with or spoken to a lot before today, and they were amazingly good.
The Cod Cakes that Kathryn pan-fried was accompanied by a Remoulade Sauce and a side of Coleslaw, both of which I made.
Chef complimented me infront of the entire class and said it was the best tasting coleslaw he had ever had at CIA.
Oh my goodness..
Cue blush and humbled smile.

This is exactly what I needed to happen today because Saige, one of my partners, twisted her knee while skiing this weekend and now has to "X" out of class because she will have to heal properly.
I was very upset to hear that she was in pain and that I was without my partner and friend that I had been with since Skills 1.

But unfortunately hungry customers where coming and I either was going to drown under the pressure or swim.
Thankfully I swam.
And made a very good slaw while doing it.
Hopefully I'll be able to repeat it tomorrow.

Our Silly Conversations Make Me Miss You More.

I have a problem with blowing things a little out of proportion.
I don't mean to and I'm trying to fix this.

I know that I'm just a small factor when it does happen,
But I can't help but feel like a mega part of the problem.
And I feel really terrible.
Like very... guilty.
I should be the solution, not the problem.
I want to apologize, but I feel like it will get worse if I bring it up or something.

So I'm quiet instead.
And the silence kills me.
Because I want to make it better.
I want to fix what I did and whatever else there is to fix.


I just want my mom.
I want to go home for a little while.
Drink Manchester tap water and just sit on my couch and watch a movie with my dog.