With Arms Wide Open

I think it's fair to say that I'm getting a bit restless.
It's just that I get home from class and come home to an empty room.
Everyday.
It's just so vacant.
And a tad bit lonely.
I just want to do something.
I want to cut up things.
I want to break things down and build them back up.
I want to create.
But I can't.
Not yet.
And everyone is in class because it's the middle of the day!
Or they are sleeping.
So it's not like I can go hangout with someone..

You know what I would really love?
If someone came to my door, when I was home alone, just to say hello.
Just to talk for a few minutes.
I would be over-the-moon happy if someone did that.
Because I wouldn't ever hesitate in doing that to someone else.
I guess thats why I would like it...

I have found that some of the simplest actions from people here have put me in the greatest of moods.
Just a simple hello.
A wave.
A smile.
A letter.
A hug.
Multiple hugs in one sitting.
Cookies to cheer me up, just because.
Long walks around the campus just to talk about life in general.
Invites to lunch and dinner.
And of course to breakfast. (which we haven't been getting out of bed for. But tomorrow we will try again, like every other day)
And finally just random acts of kindness.

I guess I just notice it more then other people.
Or maybe I just cherish the moments more.
I didn't get a lot of kindness directed towards me in high school.
Yes I had friends.
And towards the end, I found out who my true friends actually were.
But the rest of the time, I felt mostly ignored by my peers.
I know how they saw me:
That nice girl that always smiles and who they happen to sit next to in class.
Quiet and maybe a tad bit shy.
But always nice.
Always seen, but hardly noticed.
Not the center of attention.
Would rather read some obscure book then listen to the teacher talk.
Speaks more formally then others.
Has a matureness about her.
But then seems so innocent.
Does that make her a virgin?

Yet had a few boyfriends.

So maybe she isn't.

Nothing to bark at though.

Those boys were very nice too.

Nothing strangely remarkable about her.
Just normal.
A step above Plain Jane.

But what they never knew?
I am so much more then that.