The 7-Up Fish.

I thought about God again today.
Well, that's actually a lie.
I think about Him a little bit everyday.
I don't know why.
Well I think I might..
I get comfort from it.
Like an ear that will always be there, no matter how alone I am in a room.
My family has always been pretty religious.
So when I think of God or church, I think of my family.

Most specifically my Mother.
Because she always has a way to relate things back down to a religious base.
I have a bad day or bad experience with them?
She is right there with the religious back that I need.

It didn't always used to be this way.
I'm admitting that now.
I used to be very resistant to going to church, praying every night, etc..
I think it's because I didn't understand what I was learning about.
The content of what was in the bible confused me.
I wasn't the strongest reader when I was younger, so the bible freaked me out at a young age.
If I couldn't read it or interpret it, how was I to make sure what I was learning was accurate?
Or that I believed in it?

I'm sure I hurt my mother's feelings when I said I didn't like going to church.
I was stupid.
Church is bigger then me.
Bigger then my wants or needs.
When I think of Church, I think of my Grandfather.

His name was Harry.
Harry Sherman.
He was a pastor in the Episcopal Church.
That's what my family and I define ourselves as, Episcopalian.
My Grandfather was a good man.
He was funny.
So smart.
A terrible singer, but so charismatic from what I remember.
And he had the best laugh in the entire world.
I will never forget his laugh.
He passed away a few years ago.
He started to lose him memory after his open heart surgery in 2004, I think was the year.
Dementia, they called it.
I had never heard of it before until then.
He hid it really well for a long time, not wanting to alarm anyone.
But once it became more obvious, it was already picking up too much speed to delay it any farther.

I don't know why I'm talking about my Grandfather.
It's making me incredibly sad and now I'm crying.
I think it's just because when I think of God, I think of my Mother and Grandfather instantly.

I remember living in Ohio.
My grandparents lived in a giant blue house with a gated horse farm behind them.
My Grandfather would always time my brother and I to race to the big tree near the fence and all the way back to the porch.
My brother always won.
But Grandpa always encouraged me saying that one day I would win.
He drank 7-up like a fish, I kid you not.
I would always get him another can.
He would always be the one to come get me from my nap and carry back down the stairs, on piggy-back of course.
And my siblings and I would always fight for who got to pour Grandpa's beer into his giant glass at dinner time. (It was seen as a real talent if you could pour it in and not have it over flow)
And of course we got to try some.
I always thought it was gross, but I still tried it.
And of course having shaving parties when my siblings and I slept over their house.
We have a great picture at our house of all three of us kids making faces with shaving cream smeared over our faces.
I of course was front and center in this picture.
I even remember my grandfather taking it.
It was a long time ago.

I miss him.
But I know I'll see him again one day.
Laughing, just like I remember.
That day will be a really good day, I think.

I don't really know what the point was of this post.
I guess I just wanted people to know a little more about me.