Between The Lines Of Fear And Blame

I think as humans we are naturally nosey.
We like to dig our fingers into things, even if it's not our business.
We like to hear stories.
We like to ask about personal situations, because we like to live vicariously through each other.
It's not intentional.
(But sometimes it is.)
And usually not in a vindictive way.
(But sometimes it is.)
We just like to see how someone else lives.
To be in someone else's situation without getting our hands dirty.
To be a fly on the wall, so to speak.
This is just a general observation I've made.

This weekend has been a blast.
Especially at the Zombie Prom.
I felt so relaxed.
I guess that's the best way to describe it.
I just danced and I didn't care.
So for anyone who saw me at the dance, that was me being Allyson.
Completely and totally.
Open.
Laughing.
Loud.
Dancing.
Smiling even more then normal.
I like being like that.
I wish I was like that more in reality then at a dance with the lights turned down.
I'm trying.

Another observation:
I am the most like myself when I am around people I care about or am close to.

Think about that for a second.
It sounds completely dim.
Obviously I would be comfortable with people I'm comfortable with.
But it's so true to me.
I'm just naturally a quite person.
When I have nothing to say, I usually don't say much.
So I'm sure it comes off shyness.
I'm not really all that shy.
If I was wicked shy, I don't think I would have such good friends already at school.
I think everyone is shy.
Even the most confident person has their moments.
I'm just quite.
With dashes of shyness, just like every other person in the world.

I had such a good time with Steph, Krissy, Annelise, and Morgan this weekend.
They are such good friends.
I love everyone to pieces.
We dressed up as the Spice Girls for Halloween.
I was Baby Spice, of course.
I don't think I've ever laughed as much as I have this weekend.

On Saturday my family came up to visit me.
They spent four hours in a car just to spend a few hours with me.
I can't tell you how grateful I am that I have such a loving and wonderful family.
I was already missing them as they were walking back to their car and I was walking back to my room.
Thanksgiving can hurry up now.

Happy Halloween.