That's Exactly How This Grace Thing Works.

I was seriously doubting myself today.
I thought about skills and I was dreading going.
Because I didn't want to be around people and I just wanted to sleep.
I wasn't confident in my skills or knowledge.
Could I actually cook or was I just playing myself up in my head?
But then the most magical, wonderful, stupendous thing happened.

We made soup.
Beef and Veggie soup to be specific.
Chef Soileau said it was one of the prettiest soups he had seen.

It was so tasty.
Not the best photo in the world, but it was really nice looking.

I love talks with my friends.
Sometimes it's good to have reassurance that people, besides your family, do actually care about you.
They make me happy and let me see a different point of view on any subject.
I don't think I would be having as much fun here without them.
It's always nice to have someone understand you.

I thought about someone last night.
And for the first time I wasn't sad when I thought of them.
More indifferent then anything.
I know I still care for this person.
And they will always hold a special place in my heart regardless if I'm in their's at all.
This person can be a good person.
They just choose to do certain things that will benefit them the most.
Call it a selfish personality.
But at least it's a personality.
For awhile I thought there was something wrong with me.
Something that was missing.
But now I understand, it was them all along.
They were missing something, not me.
Steph's told me this a million times, but I guess it just finally clicked.
I still care about this person.
Regardless of the questionable things they do on my time or their's.
I know I always will help if they need it and they know that.
It's just hard I guess.
Because they make it so easy to hate them.
But I can't hate them.
I won't hate them.
If I hate this person, they will win.
And they will not care.

But it will be okay.
Because I know that nothing was ever wrong me with me.
It was all them.
And I'm never going to be as lonely as they are.