Still very rough
Work in progress.
This is just excerpt:
Five miles to go and it was raining outside. No, more like a torrential downpour. I was expecting cats and dogs to start falling from the sky at any moment. I was in a half state of warm and frozen. It was like the humid outside air was seeping in and tangoing with the cool air of the AC making my skin crawl with clamminess. My jeans felt tight and my shirt just didn’t lay on me correctly. Uncomfortable, isn’t exactly the word I would use to fully describe it. It was more then just uncomfortable. If I was uncomfortable, then it would be assumed that I was at one time comfortable. Nothing about this situation was particularly comfortable.
The Eagles softly crooned out of Daddy’s car speaker as we travelled down the highway. It was just him and I. He was gripping the steering wheel with tense muscles and I was fidgeting in my seat. What a pair we made. Mom wasn’t there with us. She was in Vancouver. In someways I’m happy that she wasn’t there, because if she was, I don’t think I could have ever gotten out of the car, in the end.
I felt heavy. Emotionally mostly; Nervous. I had practically chewed my finger tips off multiple times already. I know Daddy could sense it. The tension I exuded could be jack hammered it was so thick. He tried to calm me down, but I just couldn’t let myself relax. I had too many racing thoughts speeding through my head faster then I could ever possibly comprehend.
We were at the stoplight right in front of the gigantic building I could only describe properly as Hogwarts incarnate. Even through the rain, one could see that It was beautiful. And it had better be beautiful considering the money I was paying to this place for something as simple as an education.
It wasn’t even noon yet and move-in didn’t start until 1pm. I distinctly remember having something I could only attest to a minor panic attack and ordered my father away from the building as quickly as our massive car could take us. I was not ready yet. Going down to my living quarters and moving in would also mean Daddy would leave my side faster. I needed him still. Well I’ve always needed him, but now in particular I needed more then ever before. He was my last strand. The string that held me in place connecting me to my childhood and home. It was like I was being sucked into a black hole and that thin string was the only thing holding me down. It wasn’t going to last forever. But it had held quite nicely for the last eighteen years, I could surely hold on for another half hour, right? I like to name this particular black hole: Adulthood. I thought I was ready for it. I mean hell, I’ve been counting down the days until this exact moment. But when the time finally came, I just couldn’t bring myself to let go.
A remedy of chocolate chip pancakes did nothing to cure my worrisome heart. They tasted artificial. And the Maple syrup was terrible, it was Smuckers or some other brand I didn’t concern myself with to know. I just new it would never match up to Polly’s Pancake Parlor’s genuine maple syrup. New York has nothing on New Hampshire made maple syrup. The water was strange. I could taste and smell the wonderful fragrance of highly chlorination. Delicious. I knew at that moment I was far from home and my fresh mountain spring faucet water. It was depressing in a way I never could have imagined.
My body was tired, I could feel myself wanting to become sluggish. But I was hyped up on so much adrenaline I don’t think I could have sat still even if I wanted to. My hands were frozen solid and sweating at the same time. My face felt clammy and looked paler then it had ever before. Or maybe I had alway been pale and I was just noticing it more since I was standing in the restaurant’s bathroom, bathed in the artificial light coming from the hideous wall sconces. I hoped my roommates liked me. I hoped I liked them.
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