And If You Were An Ocean, I'd Learn To Float.

Alright here is the bad stuff.
I'm sure you have waited with bated breath.

The only reason I didn't want to talk about it last night was because I just didn't want to.
Plain and simple.
Its a bit different now though.
I don't really care.
Okay, here goes nothing:

There are two people in this equation along with myself
I will call them: Person A and Person B.
I have considered Person A a very close friend of mine.
Person B, I have known since the beginning of school.
Person B and I had a thing.
I don't like talking about it and I actually regret it more and more everyday.
But you can't change the past.
So whatever.
"B" is not the type of person you would want to date.
Being friends with "B" is alright but anything more than that and it turns bad.
I told Person A about Person B and I.
This was done in confidence and because I trusted "A".
Because "B" was starting to talk to "A" a whole lot.
Which I actually don't care about, but I care about "A" so I talked about "B" to "A".
Regardless of our talk ,"A" still talks to "B", knowing full well what "B" is capable of.
"A" likes "B".
"A" doesn't care about my opinion and brushes my warning off without a care.
I am angry, upset, and feel used.
It was a selfish thing for "A" to do and I'm still hurting.
I have talked to "A" about it.
But it seems I can't get through to "A".
I left this kinda thing back in high school, four hours away from here.
I have never ever done this to someone I considered a friend.
It just didn't happen.
But honestly it's whatever.
If "A" honestly wants "B" that badly, fine.
Take "B".
I don't want "B".
I never have.
I've only wanted the idea I projected onto "B".
Which I have finally come to the realization of.

I just don't want "A" to lie about it anymore.
That's what is currently killing me about this situation.
To lie about "B".
I don't care.
I don't care if they are friends.
Just stop lying about it.
Tell the truth.
Don't be so sketchy about it either.

I might be nice and friendly to people.
But that doesn't mean I'm some meek, spineless jellyfish.
I don't like it when people lie to me.
Especially to my face.
I can't tolerate something like that.


Another bad note:
Theresa texted me today.
She asked if I liked her still as a friend.
And for the first time in a while, I told her the truth about what I thought of the friendship.
I do not believe we will speak anymore.
The end of that chapter of my life.
Holy crap.
Feeling indifferent I guess.
I have already been sad about this in the past.
Again, it's something I care less and less about everyday.
It's a terrible thing to say, but it's the truth.
I've just out grown her and the drama she carries.
Again, petty, but maybe she never cared either about me.
Oh well.


On a happier note:
I hung out with Steph all day.
Which was fantastic because I adore that girl.
And I talked to Manny Lopez, who I miss a lot.
All in all it was actually a pretty good day.
I needed a lounge day today.
And I got one.