Ki Ngombo

I made Alligator & Andouille Gumbo in class today for Southern Cooking day.
Did you know that the word "Gumbo" is derived from the word "Ki Ngombo" which means Okra?
It is from the language of the West African Bantu tribe.

It came out great, though I did start a tad bit behind schedule and ended up not being able to put up a demo cup for it.
I imagine Chef took off some serious points for that.
But he said my gumbo was very pretty and tasted good, so I guess that counts for something right?

It was all Southern food.
Ranging from Creole and Cajun to Dixie Southern.
And the only thing I could think about when I was in class and at dinner today was my Dad.
I wanted him to be hovering over my shoulder so I could share my recipes with him.
Because out of everyone I practically know, (except for probably Mom & Aunt Cydney) Dad would appreciate it the most.
But it will still be a while until I will be able to show him.
I miss them.
And I miss my dog.

Blame It On The Coleslaw..

When I was younger, I hated coleslaw.
It tasted, looked, and smelled funny.
I attribute it to my childhood taste buds.
I couldn't understand why my dad would always eat it.
Raw cabbage?
No thank you.
Thankfully my taste buds changed, just like mom always said they would when I was younger.
I love coleslaw now.


Today was my first day in Cuisines of The Americas.
Every two days the region we will be studying and cooking about will change.
Today (and tomorrow!) was New England Cuisine
I was on Salt-Cod Cakes with Kathryn Woodliff, who I actually haven't worked with or spoken to a lot before today, and they were amazingly good.
The Cod Cakes that Kathryn pan-fried was accompanied by a Remoulade Sauce and a side of Coleslaw, both of which I made.
Chef complimented me infront of the entire class and said it was the best tasting coleslaw he had ever had at CIA.
Oh my goodness..
Cue blush and humbled smile.

This is exactly what I needed to happen today because Saige, one of my partners, twisted her knee while skiing this weekend and now has to "X" out of class because she will have to heal properly.
I was very upset to hear that she was in pain and that I was without my partner and friend that I had been with since Skills 1.

But unfortunately hungry customers where coming and I either was going to drown under the pressure or swim.
Thankfully I swam.
And made a very good slaw while doing it.
Hopefully I'll be able to repeat it tomorrow.

Our Silly Conversations Make Me Miss You More.

I have a problem with blowing things a little out of proportion.
I don't mean to and I'm trying to fix this.

I know that I'm just a small factor when it does happen,
But I can't help but feel like a mega part of the problem.
And I feel really terrible.
Like very... guilty.
I should be the solution, not the problem.
I want to apologize, but I feel like it will get worse if I bring it up or something.

So I'm quiet instead.
And the silence kills me.
Because I want to make it better.
I want to fix what I did and whatever else there is to fix.


I just want my mom.
I want to go home for a little while.
Drink Manchester tap water and just sit on my couch and watch a movie with my dog.

Finds, And Shall Find, Me Unafraid.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul..


Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I'm So Sick And Tired..

Of being sick and tired.

This is silly.
I'm going to be happy from now on.
The end.

To-do list:
Surround myself with people who actually give a damn and not just about themselves.
Make friends with people who actually listen and don't just wait for their turn to talk.
Go on a date with a nice boy.
Find some alone time for myself.
Get some sleep.
Start doing my laundry in a timely manor.
Play a game of pool at the rec center.
Read my new Bob Dylan book.
Finish my David Sedaris book.
Stop cutting my fingers.
Resharpen knives.
Keep desk organized.

And I Find It Kinda Funny, I Find It Kinda Sad.

This whole situation makes me sad.
I don't want to deal with it.
Stop talking.
I don't care.
The more you talk the worse it gets.

Everyone is so selfish and petty.
It makes me sick to my stomach.
I hate yelling.
I get very very upset whenever I do.
To the point where I start crying afterwards.
But I don't know how else to get my point across..

I don't know if this is worth the effort.
And I'm not quite sure how that makes me feel.

>>>>

Steve, if you are reading this,
Happy Birthday!
I know I've said it to you already, but I thought I would give a shout out.
Hope you like your Bear and that your day was great.
(even though you had class.)

I'll Understand When I'm Younger.

I sliced my thumb really bad today, cutting carrots.
It hurts so bad.
Still does.
Lots of blood of course.
But you didn't really need to know that
Took deep breaths, bandaged and wrapped it.
Sucked it up and continued prepping for my soup.

Today was actually a really good day.
With some minor exceptions.
But I try extremely hard to not dwell on them too much.

I want to see my family.
I miss them.

Things with Christian got a little better today.
If you don't know, we've been arguing a lot in class.
It's taken a toll on me a bit because he is my friend.
So it's very hard sometimes to just leave it in the kitchen.
And to blame the stressful situation.
But when he says my name and looks me in the face, it's hard to not take it personally.
I'm trying.
I really am and I think he might be trying too.
We had dinner together tonight, just us, and I think it helped a lot.
Hopefully this continues.

P.S. Chef Coyac loved my soup. Probably made my day.