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Bienvenido a Vancouver

Bienvenue à Vancouver

Welcome to Vancouver

More to come...

Leaving On A Jet Plane.

Today I am going to Vancouver.
Today I get to see my mother.
Today is a very happy day.
I'm in such a good mood, I don't even care that I am probably not going to sleep for a while.
It's fine.
It's Christmas.
I'm happy.

I Missed Your Skin When You Were East.

I truly never realized how much I would miss you.
I miss your unwavering company and attention.
You always made me feel better.
And now I've gone and made myself upset..
Awesome.
What a silly thing to get upset over.

Your Love Is Out, Believing Despite The Loss.

I am so confused lately.
Everyone, and I mean everyone has been asking about my well being.
I'm really not kidding.
Apparently I have had a look on my face or something to concern people enough about me.

I don't really know why.
I've been told before that I have a very readable face.
Which I have never had a problem with.
I guess it makes me feel more open to people

But anyway, back to my main point.
A complete stranger today held the door open for me.
He was quite good looking but that's besides the point.
He took one look at me and said "You should be happier, it's Friday!"
I didn't realize I didn't look happy.
Apparently I haven't recently.
I mean I feel alright.
Not 100% but who is all of the time, you know?
Yes I want break to come so I can see my family, but I didn't really think it would start showing on my face.
I guess it has.
And it's been unintentional.

Oh well.
Everything will be okay.

Tonight I hung out with Stephie and Annelise.
We had a crafts night.
I made presents for my family!
I hope they like them..



You do not make me comfortable.
I have never been so weirded out by someone before.
I guess weirded out isn't the right phrase.
I don't think I will be hanging out with you anytime soon.
To bad you don't know that yet.
I think it's funny how you think you're so suave.
Because you're not and you don't seem to realize that.
Oh well.

No First Dance, Freeze-Dried Romance, Five Hour Phone Conversation, The Best Soy Latte That You Ever Had, And Me?

I am doing alright.
And I'm content.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact Christmas is coming.
Family + Christmas(Presents) = Vancouver
Vancouver - 8 days = Mom

I seriously can't wait.

I feel like it sort of sneaked up on me this year.
Like one minute I was coming here to school and it was sunny and warm.
The next it's Winter and there is snow on the ground.

I don't like the Winter.
I have never really gotten used to the cold.
Which is weird considering I have lived in the North for like 13 years and I should be pretty used to it by now.
Personally I don't think anyone can get used to these types of temperature.

I went to the bookstore before class today to buy Christmas presents for my parents.
Grossly overpriced.
I could make something better then that for free.
It was a bit discouraging, not going to lie.

Today was a good day overall.
Except this list continues to grow...

Knife Casualties: 5
Burns: 7

Laugh Until We Think We'll Die, Barefoot On A Summer Night

I still need to edit.
Still very rough
Work in progress.
This is just excerpt:

        Five miles to go and it was raining outside. No, more like a torrential downpour. I was expecting cats and dogs to start falling from the sky at any moment. I was in a half state of warm and frozen. It was like the humid outside air was seeping in and tangoing with the cool air of the AC making my skin crawl with clamminess. My jeans felt tight and my shirt just didn’t lay on me correctly. Uncomfortable, isn’t exactly the word I would use to fully describe it. It was more then just uncomfortable. If I was uncomfortable, then it would be assumed that I was at one time comfortable. Nothing about this situation was particularly comfortable.

The Eagles softly crooned out of Daddy’s car speaker as we travelled down the highway. It was just him and I. He was gripping the steering wheel with tense muscles and I was fidgeting in my seat. What a pair we made. Mom wasn’t there with us. She was in Vancouver. In someways I’m happy that she wasn’t there, because if she was, I don’t think I could have ever gotten out of the car, in the end.

I felt heavy. Emotionally mostly; Nervous. I had practically chewed my finger tips off multiple times already. I know Daddy could sense it. The tension I exuded could be jack hammered it was so thick. He tried to calm me down, but I just couldn’t let myself relax. I had too many racing thoughts speeding through my head faster then I could ever possibly comprehend.

We were at the stoplight right in front of the gigantic building I could only describe properly as Hogwarts incarnate. Even through the rain, one could see that It was beautiful. And it had better be beautiful considering the money I was paying to this place for something as simple as an education.

It wasn’t even noon yet and move-in didn’t start until 1pm. I distinctly remember having something I could only attest to a minor panic attack and ordered my father away from the building as quickly as our massive car could take us. I was not ready yet. Going down to my living quarters and moving in would also mean Daddy would leave my side faster. I needed him still. Well I’ve always needed him, but now in particular I needed more then ever before. He was my last strand. The string that held me in place connecting me to my childhood and home. It was like I was being sucked into a black hole and that thin string was the only thing holding me down. It wasn’t going to last forever. But it had held quite nicely for the last eighteen years, I could surely hold on for another half hour, right? I like to name this particular black hole: Adulthood. I thought I was ready for it. I mean hell, I’ve been counting down the days until this exact moment. But when the time finally came, I just couldn’t bring myself to let go.

A remedy of chocolate chip pancakes did nothing to cure my worrisome heart. They tasted artificial. And the Maple syrup was terrible, it was Smuckers or some other brand I didn’t concern myself with to know. I just new it would never match up to Polly’s Pancake Parlor’s genuine maple syrup. New York has nothing on New Hampshire made maple syrup. The water was strange. I could taste and smell the wonderful fragrance of highly chlorination. Delicious. I knew at that moment I was far from home and my fresh mountain spring faucet water. It was depressing in a way I never could have imagined.

My body was tired, I could feel myself wanting to become sluggish. But I was hyped up on so much adrenaline I don’t think I could have sat still even if I wanted to. My hands were frozen solid and sweating at the same time. My face felt clammy and looked paler then it had ever before. Or maybe I had alway been pale and I was just noticing it more since I was standing in the restaurant’s bathroom, bathed in the artificial light coming from the hideous wall sconces. I hoped my roommates liked me. I hoped I liked them.

Put On The Red Light..

When I woke up this morning, I knew it was going to snow.
The sky was dark grey as I was walking to writing.
I know this sounds silly, but for a moment I imagined myself back in New Hampshire.
It felt the same here as it does at there, right before it's about to snow.
Everything felt right.
I know that sounds silly, but for that moment I was extremely happy.
Almost like I was about to see my mother or something.
But then I entered Roth Hall and realized that no, I'm not in New Hampshire.
I'm at school.
It was about to snow.
And guess what?
It did.

I feel like this is a dream at times.
A very long, realistic dream.
A dream that I will eventually wake up from.
And realize that these people and this place don't actually exist.
Like I'm going to suddenly wake up and be eight years old again.
Where my biggest problem was making sure my cursive writing was up to par.

It scares me.
Both because it's unrealistic
But also because with my luck, it could happen.

Oh what I life I lead.

Today we made our first "full plates".
Poached Salmon
Veggies (green beans, carrots, squash, leeks)
Boiled Tourne Potatoes
All covered in a Beurre Blanc sauce.
Yummmm.

Movie Night tonight.
Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Yes sir.

Edit:
Oh My Goodness!!!!!
Our wall of records is finally complete!