And Then There Was One.

I have had a really fortunate life.
I truly have some of the most remarkable and kind people surrounding me.
What did I ever do, to become so lucky?

My parents married very young, but very in love.
Growing up, we didn't have the biggest and best of everything.
Our houses were small, but welcoming.
And we had each other.
I know that sounds pretty corny, but it's true.
A house is not a home.
Home is where family and friends are.
I know my parents have always been a bit lamentful towards the fact that I've never had my own room.
Ashley did, simply because she was the oldest and arrived first.
Stephen, because he was the boy.
And I got a bit of the short end, for being the youngest.
I'm used to sharing a room with someone, because that's all I've known.
So coming to college knowing I was going to room with people wasn't a big deal to me.

And so I come to the point of this story.
Morgan and Stephanie have moved out for externship.
The room is completely bare on there sides.
It very quiet.
But it's sort of nice.
I have my own room for the first time.
But it is still a bit strange because every time I look towards Steph's side or Morgan's desk, I'm kind of expecting someone to be there.
But they aren't.
And I continue on with whatever I'm doing.
It really isn't bad being in here alone.

This room holds a lot of memories.
Both the good and bad.
I imagine I'll miss this room after I leave in three weeks.

You're The Line In The Sand When I Go Too Far.

K-16 over and done.
Thank god.
I might miss it just a tiny bit, not going to lie..
Chef and Michael were pretty awesome.

Next hurdle: 2nd Term Practical on Tuesday.

...ugh.

If You Were A Wink, I'd Be A Nod.

Apologies are more then just finding out who was right or who was wrong in the situation.
It's about caring more about the relationship then your ego.
I learned that today.
Hopefully I can apply it to real life one day.

Cook & Be Happy.

So I went with Stephanie to the Ferran Adria demo today.
I thought he was gonna do something cool with molecular gastronomy for us.
But they ended up just having a Q&A session.
It was interesting, but it was a bit of a let down.

I then left to go work K-16 for the other half of my Independent Study Day.
But lady luck seemed to smirk at me and I was sent home within the first fifteen minutes of being there due to there being too many people showing up to work.
I am pretty happy, I guess, but I did put up a bit of a fight to stay because I was already in the middle of switching into my "kitchen mindset".
Which sounds a bit strange that I need to be in a certain mindset to go to class.
But K-16, or any production kitchen, can really be that stressful.
It's a bit awkward knowing that some of my team members are still there and working without me.
But if I honestly wasn't needed then I'm alright with coming back to the room.
I would rather do that, then be in the way, you know?

“Cook and be happy, and let the consequences decide.”

- Ferran Adria

When You Only Got 100 Years To Live.

This is my 100th blog.

I'm in a pretty good place at the moment.
My group in class had a big pow wow last night and I think we have bonded together a little more.
Things needed to be tossed out in the open and talked about.
Christian and I were able to finally talk out our issues, fully and in front of everyone, so hopefully things will get better from here.

I had a good long talk with my mother the other day about people in general and why they like to confuse me.
Because they do confuse me, quit a lot actually.
I don't really know why.
I like people a lot.
But sometimes they do things that are rude, selfish, or arrogant, etc.
They don't take other's feelings into consideration.
And I don't understand why.
Is it really that challenging to think about something other then yourself?

I mean, I know I'm not a saint or anything.
I tend to think about my own personal happiness a lot of the time.
But I've always tried very hard to keep other people in mind.
That I know every action I make will have a reaction, good or bad.
But you see it all the time in life where people don't think of the consequences of their actions.
Like whether or not they are making good choices or hurting people that care about them.

It just confuses me that people don't take five minutes everyday to stop and think about someone other then themselves and about how they act or what they say could potentially hurt someone.

I don't really know where I'm going with this... but I hope I managed to make a point somewhere along the line.

-----

K-16 is the toughest class I've had so far.
Which is really no surprise, but still.
The first two days in class were a nightmare.
Yesterday was the best day so far.
I grilled Tarragon Turkey Burgers like a pro.
Michael, our TA, said that they were all perfectly cooked and juicy without being raw.
Chef loved them too.
None were sent back to the kitchen.
Huzzah for success!

Round Your Crown Of Thieves.

I don't think I've ever stressed this bad in class before.

K-16 is the main production kitchen at CIA
A typical dinner service will produce between 350-400 plates.
But thats only because all the bachelor degree students aren't on campus and are on their wines trips in Spain or Napa Valley.

My body hurts, specifically my back.
My finger tips are burned.
I'm pretty tired.
I've probably sweated off a million pounds.
And the best part?
I pretty much enjoyed every second of it.
Even though I was in the weeds a majority of the time.

btw: I made braised short ribs with whipped potatoes & roasted seasonal vegetables. Sold out completely.

You Stand In The Line Just To Hit A New Low.

Okay... I'm ready to go home.
Anytime now....
Go.
Start.
...hurry up... please?

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

I laughed quite heartily about you today.
Karma karma karma karma.
But then I felt bad for laughing, because it wasn't something daddy, mom or God or whoever I hold in high regard, would have been proud of.
Now I feel indifferent.
I don't really know how to explain it.
I feel bad, but not really.
Is that terrible to say?
Is it even more terrible to say that I don't care if it is?
...I'm confused.

Booze In The Blender.

I guess I spoke too soon.
My bad.
I guess I will always look for the best in people, even though there is little to be found sometimes.
How stuck up bitchy of me to say!
I suppose I'll never learn.

Darn it.
My little heart breaks...
Oh, wait... stuck up bitches don't have hearts.
Never mind.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

In other worldly news I have the biggest bruise on my thigh (again) and I don't know how I got it.
Breakfast class is going well, just very tiring which makes me not the cheeriest person to be around, when 11am comes around when my energy starts to crash.

The end is getting closer.
I need a bit of a break before I go galavanting off to Disney World.

My life is so awesome!
Everyone loves me!
And I'm a stuck up bitch, so i'm able to say things like that!

Everybody's Changing.

So I received a great text message last night.
Made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside:

Secret: college turned you into a stuck up bitch.


Problem is the number that they sent it from isn't programed into my phone.
IE. I have no idea who it could possibly be.

I feel like I can really go two ways with this kind of thing.
I can't act totally by instinct and go absolutely mental about this whole situation.
Or I can act rationally and calmly, let it slide and not worry about it too much because the friends and family around me love and care about me.
I'll keep you updated on my choice.

But I just can't help but wonder..
What could possibly antagonize this person enough to send me something like this?
What did I do or say the causes them to think I turned into a stuck up bitch?

I tried brainstorming last night about who could have possibly done it
Theresa was the last sort of "confrontation" that I had with someone from back home.
That was freaking November.
A million and a half years ago. and we even sorted it out and split on civil terms the next day.
It is now March and someone is randomly texting me this.
***(ps. I am in NO WAY AT ALL pining this on Theresa. I am just stating that she was my last "fight" from home. Thank you.)


They have my phone number.
And have/had access to my facebook account because they knew about my "secrets" status updates from forever ago.

Personally I think I'm having a great three weeks, I mean first my dog passes away, then I get sick (still getting over it), cuisines of asia was the bane of my existence, Im now waking myself up at 2 in the morning to go to breakfast class and when I'm getting ready for bed last night I get some random text message from someone back home saying this to me.

I don't understand why this is happening to me.
Again.
I don't understand.
What the hell have I ever done to anyone?
What actions or words do I say to be treated in this manor?
Did someone really take the time and energy to type out a message to me like that?
Bottom line what really upsets me the most is that they didn't say it to my face.
They hid behind a screen.

I honestly try.
I really do try to be a good, happy, honest person.
To live my life with a smile on my face because life is too short to frown.
If college has done anything to me, it's given me a backbone.
I have become confident in my abilities and my self.
I am becoming so goal oriented and for the first time I have thought completely about what I want for myself now and for the future.
I have been accepted to a school that I have dreamed about attending since I was 8 years old.
Because this is my only shot; my only chance to aim towards my dreams and aspirations.

If that is called a "Stuck-up Bitch" then by god, I am happy to be one.

I'm On My Way..

"I'm on my way to what I want from this world
And years from now you'll make it to the next world
And everything that you receive up yonder
Is what you gave to me the day I wandered,

I'm on my way."

One Way Or Another.

Tomorrow is my final day of cuisines of asia.
I am very happy about this.
I'm excited for breakfast class and K16 dinner service.
But I'm tired.
I just want school to be over with so I can go home and see my family.

I feel weird.
I'm happy.
But not as much as I could be.