Ki Ngombo

I made Alligator & Andouille Gumbo in class today for Southern Cooking day.
Did you know that the word "Gumbo" is derived from the word "Ki Ngombo" which means Okra?
It is from the language of the West African Bantu tribe.

It came out great, though I did start a tad bit behind schedule and ended up not being able to put up a demo cup for it.
I imagine Chef took off some serious points for that.
But he said my gumbo was very pretty and tasted good, so I guess that counts for something right?

It was all Southern food.
Ranging from Creole and Cajun to Dixie Southern.
And the only thing I could think about when I was in class and at dinner today was my Dad.
I wanted him to be hovering over my shoulder so I could share my recipes with him.
Because out of everyone I practically know, (except for probably Mom & Aunt Cydney) Dad would appreciate it the most.
But it will still be a while until I will be able to show him.
I miss them.
And I miss my dog.

Blame It On The Coleslaw..

When I was younger, I hated coleslaw.
It tasted, looked, and smelled funny.
I attribute it to my childhood taste buds.
I couldn't understand why my dad would always eat it.
Raw cabbage?
No thank you.
Thankfully my taste buds changed, just like mom always said they would when I was younger.
I love coleslaw now.


Today was my first day in Cuisines of The Americas.
Every two days the region we will be studying and cooking about will change.
Today (and tomorrow!) was New England Cuisine
I was on Salt-Cod Cakes with Kathryn Woodliff, who I actually haven't worked with or spoken to a lot before today, and they were amazingly good.
The Cod Cakes that Kathryn pan-fried was accompanied by a Remoulade Sauce and a side of Coleslaw, both of which I made.
Chef complimented me infront of the entire class and said it was the best tasting coleslaw he had ever had at CIA.
Oh my goodness..
Cue blush and humbled smile.

This is exactly what I needed to happen today because Saige, one of my partners, twisted her knee while skiing this weekend and now has to "X" out of class because she will have to heal properly.
I was very upset to hear that she was in pain and that I was without my partner and friend that I had been with since Skills 1.

But unfortunately hungry customers where coming and I either was going to drown under the pressure or swim.
Thankfully I swam.
And made a very good slaw while doing it.
Hopefully I'll be able to repeat it tomorrow.

Our Silly Conversations Make Me Miss You More.

I have a problem with blowing things a little out of proportion.
I don't mean to and I'm trying to fix this.

I know that I'm just a small factor when it does happen,
But I can't help but feel like a mega part of the problem.
And I feel really terrible.
Like very... guilty.
I should be the solution, not the problem.
I want to apologize, but I feel like it will get worse if I bring it up or something.

So I'm quiet instead.
And the silence kills me.
Because I want to make it better.
I want to fix what I did and whatever else there is to fix.


I just want my mom.
I want to go home for a little while.
Drink Manchester tap water and just sit on my couch and watch a movie with my dog.

Finds, And Shall Find, Me Unafraid.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul..


Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I'm So Sick And Tired..

Of being sick and tired.

This is silly.
I'm going to be happy from now on.
The end.

To-do list:
Surround myself with people who actually give a damn and not just about themselves.
Make friends with people who actually listen and don't just wait for their turn to talk.
Go on a date with a nice boy.
Find some alone time for myself.
Get some sleep.
Start doing my laundry in a timely manor.
Play a game of pool at the rec center.
Read my new Bob Dylan book.
Finish my David Sedaris book.
Stop cutting my fingers.
Resharpen knives.
Keep desk organized.

And I Find It Kinda Funny, I Find It Kinda Sad.

This whole situation makes me sad.
I don't want to deal with it.
Stop talking.
I don't care.
The more you talk the worse it gets.

Everyone is so selfish and petty.
It makes me sick to my stomach.
I hate yelling.
I get very very upset whenever I do.
To the point where I start crying afterwards.
But I don't know how else to get my point across..

I don't know if this is worth the effort.
And I'm not quite sure how that makes me feel.

>>>>

Steve, if you are reading this,
Happy Birthday!
I know I've said it to you already, but I thought I would give a shout out.
Hope you like your Bear and that your day was great.
(even though you had class.)

I'll Understand When I'm Younger.

I sliced my thumb really bad today, cutting carrots.
It hurts so bad.
Still does.
Lots of blood of course.
But you didn't really need to know that
Took deep breaths, bandaged and wrapped it.
Sucked it up and continued prepping for my soup.

Today was actually a really good day.
With some minor exceptions.
But I try extremely hard to not dwell on them too much.

I want to see my family.
I miss them.

Things with Christian got a little better today.
If you don't know, we've been arguing a lot in class.
It's taken a toll on me a bit because he is my friend.
So it's very hard sometimes to just leave it in the kitchen.
And to blame the stressful situation.
But when he says my name and looks me in the face, it's hard to not take it personally.
I'm trying.
I really am and I think he might be trying too.
We had dinner together tonight, just us, and I think it helped a lot.
Hopefully this continues.

P.S. Chef Coyac loved my soup. Probably made my day.

She Moves In Mysterious Ways.

I happily spent my snow day with Stephanie and had a grand time.
I <3 Juhbronie, our new special friend.
That is all.

Gandhi & I Share A Personality, Top That.

Introverted - 22%
Intuitive - 12%
Feeling - 62%
Judging - 44%

= type INFJ

Combined all of that and you get me.
Well, my personality anyway..

Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes. Counselors are scarce, little more than three percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people's feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization. Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others' feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor's remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

From Two-Thousand Miles Away..

Everyday is a day closer.

You Might As Well Be Walking On The Sun

When one first sees Chef Gerard Coyac he is an older soul with white hair.
When you hear him speak, it is very apparent that he is very french.
His accent is extremely thick, but luckily I can still understand him fine.

I was a little intimidated of him a first.
He had been teaching at school for like 20 years, I think he said.
And he is old, so that usually means that he is much more old world/school then other chefs here.
Not a bad thing, just old school.

My group and I made roasted chicken with a pan gravy, whipped potatoes, glazed carrots, and steamed broccoli.
So easy.
Overall, it was actually a pretty easy day.
I'm very tired.

Something exciting happened today.
During the dinner rush we had to plate as we got orders, obviously.
But I can't properly describe it.
The feeling I got when just plating food then passing it off to a student who ordered it.
Food that I made and they were eating it.
And I didn't know them or was related to them in any way.
It was a good feeling.
Even though it was just skills 3 dinner food.
It doesn't matter.


Food for thought:
Is creative writing productive, even though I'm technically supposed to do homework?
I mean, I'm getting something done right?

Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay

My stomach is eating my lungs.
My heart is sitting between my toes.
That's the only way I can describe it.
I wish this was a little happier
A little easier.
Why can't it ever be easy.
But I can't help but wish to be somewhere else.

Don't get me wrong,
I truly love it here at school.
I love the people.
I just miss my home.
Both of them.
West & East coast.

Sleepless In Seattle

I'm currently in Seattle waiting for my airplane to Boston.
I don't see the Space Needle which is depressing.
Two hours away from Vancouver and my mother and brother.
He's lucky, he got to stay an extra week.
It's because his school isn't run by the Gestapo.
And doesn't have the little piss-ant time of a ten day "vacation".

I'm torn about going back to school.
I want to go back and learn obviously.
But I want to stay home and relax.
But I've had a lot of togetherness time with my family and would like a break from being in everyone's face 24/7.
I'm tired.
Still.

Time to go.